This morning around ten o'clock, I finally got
around to getting my laptop out of the pantry where I keep it, (yes, the
pantry...the one in the kitchen. Shut up). I needed to pay bills online I kept
forgetting to pay. So in order to keep from having our cable and cell phones
shut off and thus keep our family's oxygen flowing, I left the dirty dishes in
the sink and logged on and paid those bills! Then my undiagnosed adult ADD
brain was distracted by an article on the hard-hitting news outlet, Yahoo!
called "5 Things Super Successful People do Before 8
am." I opened it because I'm
a person and I want to be SUPER successful--not just regular successful--S-U-P-E-R
successful!
Not surprisingly, these were not five things I'd never heard before. I think I secretly hope that when I open these articles it’s going to say something like, "new research says to NOT exercise in the morning because your heart may explode. It is best to first eat a donut and have a cup of coffee before getting around to mild cardio around 4 pm, if at all." But alas, it doesn't. It says:
1. Exercise. Ugh...I KNOOOOWWWWW!! Enough already. Believe me, I would love to have the gumption to exercise before my kids get up, take a shower and get my day going. I have even tried recently. I made a plan to wake up at 6 am and do a workout DVD and get showered and dressed before my kids got up. But wouldn't you know it, halfway through my 20 minute DVD my youngest woke up screaming. I continued with my workout and assumed Daddy would just get up and take care of her but that was a negative. I walk upstairs all sweaty from trying to "shred" my two year old baby fat off to see Daddy still lying in bed. To his credit, when he heard me walk upstairs he did jump out of bed and follow my into the baby’s room and stand over me while I changed her diaper. I handed her over long enough to get a shower and decided this probably wasn't going to work. There is simply no predictability to how late she will sleep or if she will allow me to sleep all night. Some children under one actually become possessed by demons between the hours of 8 pm and 8 am and get a sick, sadistic pleasure from waking up their mother through the night and then up for the day around 6 am. My child is one such demon possessed baby. Adorable, but possessed. The best is when she is up so early that by 7 am she is ready for a morning nap...exactly when her older sister gets up. The best I can do for exercise these days might be a walk around the neighborhood at some point in the day when everyone is awake, fed, kind of dressed and not sitting in a poopy diaper. Some days that point never comes but some days it does...VICTORY!
2. Plan your day. This one I sort of do but my plans are more like a list of things I must do for survival, like feed the children, change diapers, pay bills, keep the counters and floors free of scum enough to avoid a call from child protective services. And lofty aspirations like fold laundry, vacuum the stairs and go to Target (that last one can sometimes be moved to the 'survival' list). At any moment something can be added or taken away with or without my permission or knowledge. The ultimate goal is to have everyone fed, sort of clean and peacefully asleep by 8 pm.
3. Eat a healthy breakfast. This one is not super duper hard for me because I really do LOVE to eat. And I love healthy breakfast food like eggs and oatmeal. But before 8 am? No. I can just see me sitting down to eat my beautiful egg whites and oatmeal while my children stand at my feet crying for "moy and moy," (what my oldest calls food sometimes). No, Mr. Yahoo Article Writer, I have to get the girls seated, fed, cleaned up and the baby to get a bottle before I sit down to eat. Oh, what's that? You no longer want the oatmeal you asked for? You now want a baby food pouch like your 11 month old sister? Sure, let me get that for you! I am lucky enough to get the coffee going and a cup poured while they eat. I may have to microwave it 73 times before I finish it but it’s there, like a hot, steaming hug. I often get to scarf down what is left over on their plates like a ravenous wolf without a pack. Then around 10 or 11, I get a "real" breakfast. I'm not whining...I'm just stating facts.
4. Visualization. Shut up. Just stop it. In the words of a wise woman: Ain't nobody got time for that!
5. Make your day top heavy. They mean to do your hardest or most dreaded tasks early in the day. See number 2 on this list. My day is like my post-baby body...its heavy ALLLL OOOVVERRR!
Maybe one day I will be able to do the things on this list and be as successful as Margaret Thatcher or Frank Lloyd Wright (whoever that is), like the article mentions but it’s probably not going to be while I have two under two...or three...or four. Okay, I'm probably never going to be Margaret Thatcher. I'm fine with that.
Not surprisingly, these were not five things I'd never heard before. I think I secretly hope that when I open these articles it’s going to say something like, "new research says to NOT exercise in the morning because your heart may explode. It is best to first eat a donut and have a cup of coffee before getting around to mild cardio around 4 pm, if at all." But alas, it doesn't. It says:
1. Exercise. Ugh...I KNOOOOWWWWW!! Enough already. Believe me, I would love to have the gumption to exercise before my kids get up, take a shower and get my day going. I have even tried recently. I made a plan to wake up at 6 am and do a workout DVD and get showered and dressed before my kids got up. But wouldn't you know it, halfway through my 20 minute DVD my youngest woke up screaming. I continued with my workout and assumed Daddy would just get up and take care of her but that was a negative. I walk upstairs all sweaty from trying to "shred" my two year old baby fat off to see Daddy still lying in bed. To his credit, when he heard me walk upstairs he did jump out of bed and follow my into the baby’s room and stand over me while I changed her diaper. I handed her over long enough to get a shower and decided this probably wasn't going to work. There is simply no predictability to how late she will sleep or if she will allow me to sleep all night. Some children under one actually become possessed by demons between the hours of 8 pm and 8 am and get a sick, sadistic pleasure from waking up their mother through the night and then up for the day around 6 am. My child is one such demon possessed baby. Adorable, but possessed. The best is when she is up so early that by 7 am she is ready for a morning nap...exactly when her older sister gets up. The best I can do for exercise these days might be a walk around the neighborhood at some point in the day when everyone is awake, fed, kind of dressed and not sitting in a poopy diaper. Some days that point never comes but some days it does...VICTORY!
2. Plan your day. This one I sort of do but my plans are more like a list of things I must do for survival, like feed the children, change diapers, pay bills, keep the counters and floors free of scum enough to avoid a call from child protective services. And lofty aspirations like fold laundry, vacuum the stairs and go to Target (that last one can sometimes be moved to the 'survival' list). At any moment something can be added or taken away with or without my permission or knowledge. The ultimate goal is to have everyone fed, sort of clean and peacefully asleep by 8 pm.
3. Eat a healthy breakfast. This one is not super duper hard for me because I really do LOVE to eat. And I love healthy breakfast food like eggs and oatmeal. But before 8 am? No. I can just see me sitting down to eat my beautiful egg whites and oatmeal while my children stand at my feet crying for "moy and moy," (what my oldest calls food sometimes). No, Mr. Yahoo Article Writer, I have to get the girls seated, fed, cleaned up and the baby to get a bottle before I sit down to eat. Oh, what's that? You no longer want the oatmeal you asked for? You now want a baby food pouch like your 11 month old sister? Sure, let me get that for you! I am lucky enough to get the coffee going and a cup poured while they eat. I may have to microwave it 73 times before I finish it but it’s there, like a hot, steaming hug. I often get to scarf down what is left over on their plates like a ravenous wolf without a pack. Then around 10 or 11, I get a "real" breakfast. I'm not whining...I'm just stating facts.
4. Visualization. Shut up. Just stop it. In the words of a wise woman: Ain't nobody got time for that!
5. Make your day top heavy. They mean to do your hardest or most dreaded tasks early in the day. See number 2 on this list. My day is like my post-baby body...its heavy ALLLL OOOVVERRR!
Maybe one day I will be able to do the things on this list and be as successful as Margaret Thatcher or Frank Lloyd Wright (whoever that is), like the article mentions but it’s probably not going to be while I have two under two...or three...or four. Okay, I'm probably never going to be Margaret Thatcher. I'm fine with that.
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