To keep the gremlin from waking her three year old sister, we have kept them in separate rooms, which only left me with our slowly dying sectional couch or the floor to escape to when the buzz-saw-of-a-husband's snoring chased me out of our warm, comfortable bed. In my desperation, I have made two failed attempts at putting my darling angels in the same bedroom. Both times saw the same result: complete and utter chaos. Disassemble the crib, move it to the other room, reassemble, put the children to bed, turn out the lights, screaming, crying, and no one falling asleep until past 11:00; wake up at 3:00, 4:00, 4:30, and 7:00. The next day we again disassemble the crib, move it back and reassemble. And I go back to fitfully sleeping in any number of locations throughout the house but in relatively reliable peace while everyone else sleeps in their respective nests of warmth and slumber.
Obviously, after these two unsuccessful trials, the only logical move is to try it again. So in the past week, in my infinite wisdom and sanity, we repeated the whole process. But you say, "the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over expecting different results!" Well, you, my friend clearly do not have children in your life, otherwise you would know that there is a caveat to this rule for dealing with these miniature haters of logic. In the world of child rearing, repeating an action and expecting a different result is called "consistency."
Yes, consistency. Consistency is apparently the key component for making sure your sweet darling doesn't turn into a full-fledged serial killer later in life.
Is your child still crapping their pants daily despite sitting on the toilet every two hours for 30 minutes at a time? Just keep doing it. Eventually they will do what you want them to. Don't fall victim to the "she won't go to college in diapers" mentality. Yes she will.
Does your little precious seemingly refuse to sleep in their own bed at night despite your nightly bedtime routine and the promise of reward stickers on a chart each morning? Just keep banging your head up against that wall, mama! Eventually he'll see that his toddler bed filled with Legos and toy trains is way more awesome and comfortable than your king size bed with 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.
Keep pinning and cooking those "kid friendly" broccoli recipes because one day soon they will see the wisdom of eating green vegetables and question why they ever asked for fruit snacks for every.meal.of.the.day. Just keep at it. Don't you dare give in!
Of course this thing we call consistency is actually insanity after all because children and the people who have them are crazy! So by some mystery of modern psychology it works...or it doesn't really...I don't know. But I can't get into it any further right now; I have to go get my kids their fruit snacks again.
